Your cap and gown are ready, your parents are already getting all sappy and sentimental about that time you tried to drink water out of the toilet bowl, and you just want it to be over. But I mean, what’s so cool about graduating from high school? Well my friend, a lot of things:
1. You get to casually tell people, “Oh, I just graduated this past May/June.”
It sounds really freaking adult, let me tell you. And then of course comes the whole “Oh, where are going to college next year?” and “What are you going to study?” It’s one of the easiest periods of small talk you’ll ever have in your entire life.
2. Two words: Adult. Table.
I don’t know why, but once you graduate from high school, you get invited to both literally and metaphorically sit with the grown-ups. No more kiddie stuff for you, hot shot. Suddenly adults want to talk to you because they consider you a productive member of society, and you can’t do that if you’re sitting next to your three year-old cousin who’s picking his nose and your younger sister who’s already a pubescent nightmare at the age of eight.
3. A more flexible curfew.
The summer before college is a beautiful time in any young person’s life. Typically, no matter how strict your parents were in your younger years, they soften up and let you do what you want. You’re a responsible adult after all; they can’t babysit you every five seconds when you’re in college (or well, maybe they can, but you get what I mean).
4. Putting “Graduated” on your Facebook profile.
“Yeaaaahhhhh!” you say. “B*tches can SUCK ITTTTT!!!” There’s no better feeling than making a permanent addition to your Facebook page.
5. Listening to Vitamin C’s “Graduation”.
I will now answer some of Ms. C’s most important questions.
- “So we talked all night about the rest of our lives, where we gonna be when we turn 25?” You’ll probably be working some low-paying internship or entry-level position at your first job (still). SORRY I AM A PESSIMIST.
- “So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money, when we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?” Dude, I’m 19 and I can barely remember half of the inside jokes my friends and I had in high school. My friend Nika and I spent two hours trying to recall some joke we had for my friend Grace and her junior year boyfriend. We didn’t remember it…
- “Will we still remember everything we learned in school?” HAHAHAHA NOOOOOOO.