Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi. Helen Keller had Anne Sullivan. Frodo had Gandalf. Mitch Album had Morrie Schwartz. My point? Every hero or heroine needs a mentor, someone they can turn to for inspiration when life gets hard… because it definitely has lots of messy moments. If you’re completely in agreement but haven’t yet found that perfect role model, look no further, because you can share mine. She’s the trifecta: sassy, sexy and seriously smart. I present the WWHD series: What Would Hermione Do?
Situation 1: You fail a test.
You may be thinking, “But Hermione would never fail!” True. She wouldn’t. But we’re not actually Hermione; we’re just trying to imitate her. Instead of going on a rant about the stupidity of the professor/the textbook/question #23 which was nothing like the homework problems, take a serious look at why you got such a bad grade. Did you study the wrong material? Did you not study enough? Did you go to every single class? Did you attend office hours?
The last time I didn’t do very well on an exam, it was because I underestimated how difficult it would be and thus skipped over some “minor details,” which showed up on the test in a major way. Once you’ve identified what went wrong, write down a bullet-list of achievable ways to change. For example, on my list was “Memorize EVERY formula, complete more practice problems, spend twenty minutes every day reviewing my notes and the book before I do my homework.” If this seems a bit Type-A and obsessive, remember, it’s not what would Miley Cyrus do—it’s what the girl who thinks getting expelled is worse than dying would do.
Situation 2: You’re not clicking with your friends.
One moment you’re all getting along fabulously and you feel intense friend-love shining out of your pores like sunlight all over Florida. The next moment text messages are being ignored, passive-aggressive comments are flowing like beer at a frat party and a peaceful reconciliation seems far, far away.
Hermione experienced these situations all the time during her years at Hogwarts, like at least every book. (As if battling Voldemort and his minions weren’t enough, she had to deal with some serious social anxiety.) So, how did the girl cope? Mostly by sticking to herself and going to the library. While I’m not suggesting you hole up in the stacks, it’s a good idea to remove yourself from the drama and do your own thing. I’d reconnect with old friends, make some new ones and overall use this opportunity to branch out. Once you hang out with some different people, you’ll lose that panicky “my friend situation is a disaster” feeling.
Situation 3: The boy that you’re into starts dating someone else.
In what has got to be one of the most hilarious yet cringe-worthy moments in the Harry Potter series, Ron starts dating Lavender Brown, who thinks making out is synonymous with slobbering and calls Ron “Won-Won.” Sigh… Hermione is clearly the better choice.
If your guy goes for another girl, I’m not suggesting you punch him. Hermione saves her punches for those who really ooze evil, not jerky guys who don’t realize you’re pretty much the best thing to walk this Earth since Zac Efron. Instead, copy Hermione’s characteristic classiness and aloofness. If this guy led you on, then yes, you can definitely tell him he messed up. But if it’s more a case of he just wasn’t into you, then try coping in a different way. Have a Harry Potter marathon with your friends—or better yet, reread the books! Blast Taylor Swift’s, “You Belong With Me”! Write angry essays talking about how much of a witch that other girl is (and not the good kind)! That last one may seem a bit overboard, but Hermione does enjoy a good essay. If you and your Won-Won are meant to be together, it will happen. And if not, he wasn’t right for you.
You might not have the perfect spell for every occasion or think robes are more stylish than Converses, but trust me, use Hermione as your social, moral, and romantical (yes, I made that word up) compass and you’ll be golden. All your problems? Poof, they just disappeared. Like magic.