This photo perfectly sums up the college process for me. Image from Negative Space.

This photo perfectly sums up the college process for me. Image from Negative Space.

Feeling alone as you swim through the terrifying waters known as the college admission process? Have no fear! We have several seniors blogging about ups, downs, and random in-betweens of their college process for the next 12 months (from June 2015 to June 2016!). Sit back, relax, and get that “OMG I totally get you, bro” feeling. Information for how to contact a blogger will be at the bottom of his/her posts.

Oh, October – the start of the great fall season and the month of my birthday. If you ask me what I want, I’d say nothing. Literally, nothing – and when I say nothing, I say no gifts, no cakes, no special treatment, but most of all, no homework or responsibilities. For one day, I want to forget it all. For one day, I want to come home without thinking about school or college. I want to cuddle up in my bed, drink hot chocolate, and catch up with bae (and by bae, I mean Netflix). I want to go to sleep peacefully for eight hours without worrying about a quiz or test the next day… Is this too much to ask?

I have been working so hard this past month that I sometimes feel burned out of motivation to continue. I sometimes take a step back and start to doubt myself. “Am I working too hard? Should I even apply to that college? Will they accept me with this test score? Are my extracurriculars enough?” I am looking at what some students are doing with their college apps, and I feel like I am barely doing anything at all. In a nutshell, I need to get myself together. Don’t get me wrong; I have always been the upbeat, don’t-give-up kind of guy. If you’ve read my past posts, you would see that I have always been extremely positive during this whole ordeal. But, for the past few weeks, I can’t help but feel… down.

I submitted my Questbridge application on September 28. Right now, I am patiently (honestly, more like anxiously) waiting for the results to come out on October 21st – which means, I’ll probably spend my birthday with exuberant joy or utter dejection. It’s not like it’s the end of the world if I don’t get to be a “Finalist.” It’s just I spent a whole lot of time on the application and more or less exhausted my brain juices trying to write the essays. By the time of this publication, I’ll already be celebrating/crying over the results, but I’ll update you on that next month. Anyway, if there’s one thing I learned, it is that failure does not mean it’s the end of a journey, and the same goes with rejection. It’s no use to worry now.

I am also so entangled up with school work that I have been putting off writing college essays and supplements. I mean, it shouldn’t be that difficult, right? Who am I kidding, of course it would be. I think I filled up most of my applications except the writing part.  Speaking of applications, I still don’t know how fee waivers work. I should probably check on that with my counselor soon…

I also narrowed my list of colleges to about fifteen schools: seven privates, five University of California’s, and three California State Universities. The list keeps shrinking and growing, but I’ll most likely stick with these. Also, I have an Alumni Interview for Georgetown University set two weeks from now. I am more than excited because it’s my very first one and the college is all sorts of awesome. Its location in Washington D.C. combined with its strong commitment to social sciences excites me. I have also been looking into UC San Diego lately. The six residential colleges within the university greatly interest me, and my eyes are set on Eleanor Roosevelt College. Its philosophy completely aligns with mine and hopefully I get admitted. It’s true that college is what you make of it but the environment you are in contributes a lot on how you view it. If there’s an environment I want to be part of, it’s that of Roosevelt College.

Furthermore, I am looking into study abroad programs within each universities I am applying to. The more I research about it, the more I fall in love with the idea. So now, even if I have not gotten into a single college yet, I developed a goal in the junior year of my college career: study abroad! Learning about a particular culture has always been an interest of mine, and I can’t wait to experience it in the formative years of college. The major that I want to pursue is shaping to be more like economics that lean towards international studies.

Overall, this month is like the calm before the storm. In the near future, I am expecting heavy downpour of stress. But right now, I am mentally and physically preparing to what is about to happen. I know I’ll survive; I just don’t know if I’ll survive emotionally. My mind is all over the place, and I still feel a bit unhappy. That’s just how life works, I guess. If you are feeling down like me, then be reassured that I share your anguish – let’s get some ice cream and eat our feelings away. If you feel relatively motivated and happy, then please stay that way – keep that positive vibe until the end. We all have about two or three months left before we submit all our college applications. One day at a time, and in a blink of an eye, all of this will be over. Then we will all be satisfied.

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