Whether it be moving or graduation, losing those bonds formed over your high school years can be a bittersweet experience. Many would like to have you believe that friendships and relationships out of high school often die off quickly in favor of college life, especially your parents. Don’t let yourself get disheartened, your parents usually didn’t have the best time keeping in contact with others. There wasn’t Facebook or instant text messaging. Some of us don’t see good friends for years but chat with them over the internet once and a while.
I, for one, am a firm believer that distance doesn’t matter, rather it’s the effort you put into maintaining a relationship. If you make every moment count, visit when possible, and mail in the occasional birthday/Christmas/care package why won’t it work? It just depends on how much each person is willing to put in. If you believe that you have a friendship or relationship worth holding onto, then you won’t let it slide easily. Most people go to college with an incentive to find new friends and break old bonds. It’s a chance to reinvent yourself, and leave the old you behind (including friends).
We forget that that old bonds don’t mean our past is holding as back. As we change, our relationships with others grow along with it, and we take the old and the new. Starting over can be good, but it isn’t mandatory. Another thing to note, it’s okay if you struggle to keep conversations with old friends or lose track of a birthday or two. Sometimes, no matter how hard we tried, some relationships fade.
It’s a challenge definitely, but there are a variety methods you can try out to keep your relationships going.
Scheduling time for each other, even a simple Skype call every weekend or the 13th of each month one of you will drive out to each other’s college. Sharing in your daily troubles through quick messages or snapping funny photos to make the other person smile are small ways that keep up a relationship.
You don’t have to tell the most interesting parts of your day, it can be about your morning classes or anything your stressed over. Don’t glaze over your feelings of sadness to keep the other person entertained. You should both support each other, no matter the distance, you can still be there for someone. Comfort has no boundaries.
Remember, don’t neglect the opportunity of new friendships either. They don’t take away from the original ones.
You don’t have to wait around the phone for your friends or partners either. You can develop skills or pick up some hobbies to share with them. Maybe in college, there’s this girl or boy who reminds you of them. Maybe you see their favorite snack while waiting on line for a midnight coffee run.
If you have a good friend, don’t let them go because they’re a few thousand miles away. There’s always a chance to reconnect with so many options available. To feel a little closer to loved ones who are in different colleges, maybe decide to make the same meals on some days or watch series together and create something new to talk about and bond over. It can even help you to make some new friends.