During the first month of summer, I felt as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I liked my internship, thanks to my internship I had money, I liked my roommates and I even had a small social life.
I was cruising.
Last year I wrote a piece about the problem with coming home for the summer, but I am starting to learn is that no matter where you are you hit a low point at about halfway through the summer. This happens because the initial excitement of not being in school, having a new job and meeting new friends has worn off some, and you start to reevaluate your summer.
With the honeymoon period gone, everything losses a bit of color.
The tasks at my internship started to become mundane, I grew sick of seeing the same people over and over again and my social life became unexciting. Yet, I was committed. Unlike a class, an extracurricular or sometimes even a friendship, my summer obligations can’t be easily dropped. I am contractually committed to my internship, cooking and cleaning is an obligation not an occasion, I am somewhat stuck with the friends that I am living and working with and because of my internship I am not swimming in free time to road trip for a long weekend to get away.
As I realized that the position I was in was the best possible one, I freaked out. I felt that I was stuck for the next month and a half wasting away my precious summer. I naively convinced myself that my best case scenario would lead me to a summer that I would not be proud of. I would not want to brag to people about my internship, show people pictures from my nights or tell stories about my experience. I did not want to be asked about my summer and say, “it was nice,” and then quickly ask how my peer’s was. I want to talk my friend’s ears off when fall comes around about ever detail of my summer.
In addition, because I didn’t have class or many responsibilities, there was pressure to #YOLO it up. Also, it doesn’t help that every time you look through your phone when you are bored you see posts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram of your friends on the beach, at parties and meeting cool people at their internships.
It only took one social media post for these random thoughts to put me in a bad mood. Suddenly, every part of the day was frustrating, I did not feel like talking to anyone and reruns of the West Wing just weren’t doing it. But, the next day I still had to go to my internship and cook dinner.
Therefore, after feeling the mid-summer blues for 24 hours, I focused on figuring out if there is anything I wanted to change and forgot about the rest.
While breaking down my worries, I found that in some cases I was being an idiot, some parts of my life could actually be spiced off and other worries just needed to be forgotten about.
At work I could ask what I could do to improve and ask if I could get different types assignments to learn more parts of the industry. At home I needed to realize that some activities need to be done and won’t always be fun. Lastly, I need to realize that social worries are usually not worth the mental energy.
Now, I am just sitting back, binging watching an ABC sitcom with my roommates who I met two weeks ago and eat cookies. Tomorrow, I’ll settle into my routine, ask my boss about switching up my work schedule, and keep on going worry free.