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Feeling alone as you swim through the terrifying waters known as the college admission process? Have no fear! We have several seniors blogging about ups, downs, and random in-betweens of their college process for the next 12 months (from June 2015 to June 2016!). Sit back, relax, and get that “OMG I totally get you, bro” feeling. Information for how to contact a blogger will be at the bottom of his/her posts.

I’m just going to cut to the chase: this month has been really, really slow. Now that everything has calmed down, I’ve been just trudging along through school. I haven’t been focusing on my homework and my grades have slipped a little because of it, but because of the way my school works with grading I know that I can pull them back up to where I want them for my semester grade. I’ve successfully applied to a handful of scholarships, and I have another handful that I’m going to apply to in March and April, but I haven’t gotten any responses yet. One of the best things I did for myself in February was cut the amount of time I spend on College Confidential. I’ve limited myself to looking twice a day, and I’m now starting to relax and stop stressing about the little things. But March should be a more exciting month, right?

With all the stress and the fear and the loneliness that’s been overcoming me recently, I’m happy that I’ve received some good news since the last time I spoke to you guys. I got accepted into the University of Miami and I’m being considered for one of their full tuition scholarships, I got into the University of Florida, and I received a ‘Likely’ for my Early Evaluation application to Wellesley College (which basically means when RD decisions come out, I’ll be accepted)! After going through a pretty rough January, these decisions have really helped out my confidence about applications and have given me a little boost of energy for the rest of the RD decisions that I’ll get at the end of March.

My only wish now is that people would stop nagging me about college letters. I know they mean well. My parents are excited to send their second and final child off to college. My teachers are hoping that I’ll get into a college I love and succeed. My friends are wishing I’ll get to leave Florida and go off to college just as I wish. But when it comes to where I’m going to college, I don’t know yet. And that’s the honest truth that apparently no one believes. My dad thinks that UM is one of my top choices because I’m nominated for the scholarship. My friends think Wellesley is the school I’m going for because I own a Wellesley sweatshirt that I wear to school. My teachers still ask me about Georgetown because it was, for almost three years, my dream school. But I don’t know anymore. Then they spring up the question “But, if you got into everywhere you applied to right now what would you pick?”. It’s the question that stresses me out the most. I keep thinking about financial aid and scholarships and location and prestige (it’s is no way the biggest factor, but…) and the fact that some of my schools are only undergrad so I should go there because I’d never have the chance to ever again and that whole thought process is overwhelming.

Now I know, I know, having trouble choosing which college to go to is probably one of the best problems anyone could have, but for me this choice means a lot to me. I grew up knowing that college was where I had to go and now the time is coming when I’m finally going to be able to go. It’s coming down to just picking a school. And it’s not like I’m trying to meet my parents or my friends or my teachers expectations of me, I’m trying to meet my own expectations of me. The expectations of a little girl who dreamt that law school and full ride scholarships would be her future. At the end of this, will she be proud of me and what I’ve done? I don’t know, but I really don’t want to let that dreamer down.

But I mean, at this point I haven’t even gotten all my decisions back yet. I’m still waiting, and waiting, and waiting. After my thorough analysis of past notification dates for the colleges I’ve applied to (I’m telling you, January was a rough month), I know that my spring break may be either my best one or my worst one. So as the nights pass and decisions keep rolling in and people keep asking me where I’m going to school next year, I’ll tell them this wonderful answer: “Ask me again on May 2”. Because right now, I have no clue.

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