There are some parents that don’t have any expectations for their kids. They just need a talk with their kids to realize that they are making a mistake. But then there is the other extreme of parenting, the parents who want their kid to succeed at any cost. They might have high expectations, but they just want their kids to succeed. Their methods may be more intense than necessary, but they only want a kid that will change the world. Easy right? The thing is, not everyone is built to take constant hounding. Most people can only take so much before it simply becomes a detriment to their productivity. And sometimes your parents’ goals aren’t exactly what you dreamed of. Every cliched motivational poster claims that the path to success is to follow your dreams. How do you tell someone, especially a parent, to decrease their involvement? Many parents would take that as a sign of being pushed away, and simply push back harder. It’s a slippery slope.
The first and most essential step to solving the issue is to sit down and talk. But most of the time, parents aren’t the listening type. As you grow older, your parents’ attention for you doesn’t decrease, it increases. Their hopes and dreams for you are at times greater than your hopes and dreams. Your future isn’t set in stone, and sometimes that fact is louder than any words you might have to say. But in the end, you have to talk. You have start somewhere. They might not listen, but the first step to solving any problem is acknowledging that there is one. Parents can be incredibly stubborn at times, but talking puts the issue on the table. Parents want the best for their kids, but best sometimes isn’t the best way to go.
So now that the issue is up in the air, its time to tread carefully. One wrong move could turn overly caring parents into distant ones. The goal isn’t to alienate them, it is to align their goals with yours. If they’re willing to listen, discussing everything around the dining room table would be the easiest way out. But a lot of parents with high expectations also are very resilient, stoically defending their cause. Putting in less effort to lower their expectations is a logical solution, yet it is not as promising as it seems, hampering your success to change parental expectations, expectations that will mean little in the long run. Tuning out your parents would alienate them, lowering their expectations, but also creating a rift between them and you in the process. The best course of action would be to simply continue working like you had previously. While your parents might be on your case at times, now that they are somewhat aware of the great expectations and burden that they had cast on you, it will be a lot less stringent. On the off chance that the issue does get worse, don’t be disheartened. It just means that your parents have placed an incredible amount of faith in your success, and that its something to be grateful for.
Descending the mile high pillar of expectations is incredibly hard. You need to take it one step at a time. The first step is to simply continue to communicate. Further discuss the issue. if they won’t budge, then invest your efforts into what you want to do. More often than not, your dedication will sway your parents’ opinions. Showing your interest in a topic will often open your parents’ eyes to the you you want to show. But in the end, you may just have to learn to embrace it. Taking the time to simply acknowledge that your parents believe in you and and dedicated toward your success is a powerful motivator. And the thing is, having someone on your team every step of the way really helps day in and day out. It’s a feeling that may sound corny, but parental expectations are something that once you learn to accept make chasing your dreams a lot more manageable.