Well, it’s that time again. Every conversation inevitably leads to pretty dresses or cute guys in suits. Whether you’ve been fantasizing about your crush asking you, or are planning to fly solo, you’ve got it all figured out, right? Well, that was before the unexpected became a reality.
Imagine this. You’re at your locker, chatting with your friends between AP Government and Biology and feel a tap on your shoulder. You whirl around to see the cute but quiet guy holding up a rose. After a quick hi, he smiles and proudly asks if you will do him the honor of being his date to the high school formal. Shocked and completely caught off guard, you stop for a second and your brain goes into hyper drive. What should you do?
You have two options: smile and accept his offer, or let him down gently. You should never feel pressured into saying yes. If you’re unsure, ask him if you can think about it and get back to him at the end of the day. If you do this, make sure to consider the pros and cons of both options, and remember to be sensitive. It was probably nerve-wracking for the boy to ask you in the first place.
If you don’t have a particular guy in mind to ask to the dance, consider saying yes. If it’s between going to the dance with a date, even one you don’t know particularly well, or staying home alone, think about which option you would regret not taking. You may end up having a wonderful time getting to know a new guy or, if he isn’t the best company, you can still have an amazing time with your friends. I mean, who doesn’t love dressing up and jamming out to music on the dance floor?
If you want to say no because you wanted your crush to ask you, don’t bet on it. As much as you want that to happen, it’s never a definite. Whatever you do, make a decision with the facts you have. Going around and asking if your crush had plans to ask you is not okay. By doing that, you’re letting the whole school know that the boy that just asked you is your last resort. That will make him feel awful and he might even rescind his offer.
However, if you think you will not have a good time with this boy, don’t be afraid to say no. You should never feel pressured into saying yes. This can be hard sometimes, especially if he asks you publicly. But he knows there’s a possibility you could say no. These are your high school years and you’ll have this memory forever. If you think you’ll have a better time going stag and dancing with your friends all night, let him down gently.
If you’re afraid of hurting his feelings, say something along the lines of, “Thank you so much for the offer. It was really sweet, but unfortunately, I promised my friends we would go as a group. Maybe I’ll save you a dance though!” Also, something along the lines of, “Thank you for asking me, but I don’t think we know each other well enough to go together right now. Maybe we can get to know each other better in the future!” could work. There’s always a way to let someone down without hurting their feelings too much. Besides, a lot of the time, the guy may be upset for a day or two, but he’ll bounce back quickly and you’ll hear about him asking another girl the week later.
If you get asked, don’t get asked, or get asked by someone you don’t particularly want to go with, this is your dance. Make the most of it! Make the decisions that will make you the happiest. There is absolutely no shame in going solo to a dance. In fact, there were a few dances where I wish I had gone with my friends instead of a date! Whatever you decide, you’ll have a wonderful time and you’ll make a new memory that will stay with you for the rest of your lives. So go find that perfect dress, make plans with your friends or your date, and get ready to dance the night away!